


Through the Rain

by honeypower



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Distance, F/M, Fluff, LeviHan Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 23:01:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeypower/pseuds/honeypower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanji finds an excuse to reduce the distance bewteen them. (Levihan Week: Distance)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Read on tumblr: http://levihanji.tumblr.com/post/65515104928/levihan-week-distance

Large raindrops hit her face as she rode along the dirt path towards the next village. Her dark green Scouting Legion cloak blew in the wind, letting all the cold in and making her soaked body shiver. She had left Shiganshina behind a long time ago and it was going to be dark soon. If she didn’t find an inn, she would have to deal with a cold on top of everything else. She put spurs to her horse and continued into the unknown. With luck it would only take her less than two days to finally catch up with the others in Stohess. But first things first.

Large raindrops hit her face as she rode along the dirt path towards the next village. Her dark green Scouting Legion cloak blew in the wind, letting all the cold in and making her soaked body shiver. She had left Shiganshina behind a long time ago and it was going to be dark soon. If she didn’t find an inn, she would have to deal with a cold on top of everything else. She put spurs to her horse and continued into the unknown. With luck it would only take her less than two days to finally catch up with the others in Stohess. But first things first.

Fourty-eight hours prior, Erwin and Levi had set out towards Wall Sina. Their task was to present reports about the past two expeditions in order to secure funding for the Scouting Legion. She, Zoe, had been part of the briefings, but was lucky enough to stay behind and enjoy a couple of days off. Only that she didn’t feel happy about this at all. Quite the opposite. This was why she was riding through the dark in the rain. Trying to reduce the distance between them. Although she was not yet ready to admit it.

A week prior to that she had more or less imposed herself on Levi, after almost losing her mind while sitting alone in her room. Their return from an expedition was less than twenty-four hours old, the physical and mental wounds still fresh. Only few things were more disheartening than having to work through the fact that her own comrades had been sacrificed, no brutally killed, for this greater cause of saving humanity. Left alone with her thoughts all she could do was try to understand why she was doing all this again. It could have been her who was ripped apart by a titan or maybe she was going to be next.

Unable to sit in her room any longer, she searched around her cupboard for a bottle of vine she had hidden there, and sneaked up to Levi’s door.

After knocking a couple of times the door opened and closed right after. She wondered if the mask she had chosen to hide her anger and fear under, the one that radiated enthusiasm and excitement, had thrown him off. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

"No." His voice sounded muffled through the wooden door.

"Please, Levi, let me in. If somebody finds me here, I’ll be in trouble," she whispered, her lips close to the door. Indeed fraternising carried heavy repercussions in the Scouting Legion. Not that she was planning anything of the sort. But finding her there could easily lead to such an accusation. Not to mention the bottle of vine in her hands, concealed only by and old newspaper that she had hastily wrapped around it.

"Then leave."

"Please, I can’t stay alone in my room any longer. I just can’t," she said continuing to knock lightly. "And…." She paused dramatically waiting for some kind of reaction.

"And… what?" he asked after some silence. She knew she could pique his curiosity with some suspense.

"And….I’ve got some vine." The door opened to reveal a tired-looking, black haired young man standing in a sparkling and perfectly arranged room. The perfect company for an evening after an expedition.

"Fine come in. And not longer than one hour."

She had only planned to talk a little, drink a little, maybe eat and then return to her room to sleep. She liked talking, it was was easy and made her think of things other than death and suffering. Even though she often got carried away and ended being the only one who was talking. But what she liked even more were people who actually wanted to hear what she was saying. Not that Levi was such a person, but he tried.

Anyway, it was hard to pin-point when it started, but suddenly her voice was drowned. In a kiss. From Levi. Surely, the vine had played a role or maybe she had talked so much, he just wanted to shut her up. They say people who are living through traumatic situations are more likely to reproduce. Maybe it was ancient, primordial behaviour that had taken over. Their own little contribution to making sure humanity didn’t die out. She analysed away, as her heart rate increased and she freed him of his shirt. She kept her eyes open as their kisses became longer and their breathing heavier. One thing lead to another and the next thing she found herself awakening in his bed. Naked. With him snuggled up against her back, his arms tightly around her body. So Levi was a cuddler, how interesting.

The sunlight shone aggressively into her eyes, the birds sounded more like the harbingers of doom and the clothes lying around the floor were the clear evidence of what had happened. Her throbbing head made her close her eyes again while she prayed to wake up in the real world. This could only be some kind of cruel nightmare. In reality she was sound asleep in her own bed, in her own room, and most importantly alone. But when she opened them, nothing had changed. His breath was warm on her back and his hands softly held on to her. She tried to carefully free herself from his grip, but that only made his fingers hold on tighter. He grunted, still asleep, and pulled her even closer. The whole experience was getting worse by the minute. If only he would let her go, she could sneak out of his room and they could go on living their lives like nothing ever happened.

She turned and pushed him gently, when he spoke, seemingly still asleep.

"Zoe…, don’t…," he said in a sleepy voice that was so unlike him, she had to try really hard to keep from laughing.

Finally he opened his eyes, blinked once, twice and looked straight at her. It seemed even he needed time to realize what was happening. First he frowned, then his eyes widened as he looked at the bed, the floor and then the empty bottle of vine on the night table. She smiled at him unable to communicate anything with words. Realizing where had comfortably placed his arms, he let go of her, recoiled to the other side of the small bed and said nothing.

"So…," her sentence began, but it lead nowhere.

He sat up, yawned and slowly rubbed sleep out of his eyes. His bedhead looked adorable, especially when he was trying his best to look serious. And especially when she remembered what had happened just a few hours prior. It filled her with a strange mixture of embarrassment and warmth.

"How long are you planning to lie there?" Levi finally asked.

"I’m leaving. Right now. Let’s just…forget this ever happened, okay?"

She slipped out of bed and began to put on her clothes. The trail led from her panties via her blouse all the way to her trousers and shoes. She looked back at Levi once she was done and couldn’t tell if he was blushing or just really angry.

"I can pick up your things, too, if you want," she said trying to cut through the uncomfortable atmosphere. "Since you like your room being clean and stuff…."

"Could you just leave," he answered with a frown.

"Okay, okay, this never happened. It meant nothing. I was never here, we never you know…"

He glared at her. His eyes filled with contempt? Anger? Indifference? All three? She found it hard to tell which form of negative emotion he was harbouring for her.

"Fine, I’m already gone."

And with that she opened the door, slowly, checked if the coast was clear, stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

All that had happened a week prior to his departure. And the week that followed was the most awkward week she had lived through within the Scouting Legion. Or ever. And that was saying a lot, after all her job was killing giants that were hell bent on wiping out humanity.

Before the fateful yet meaningless night, they had already been close friends who often ate together or trained together or stuck together during expeditions. After all, they had known each other since training days. They had simply become each others habit. Nothing more, nothing less.

Since they had settled to forget all about it, he treated her like he always did. Which was alright, it was what she had wanted after all. But still, each time she saw him she couldn’t help but remember the taste of his mouth or the touch of his hands. When he called out her name, no matter how trivial, she went weak at the knees. And when she pictured his face, her heart did something that could not be explained scientifically. Pleasure and pain in one. It was bad. It was inconvenient. And most of all it was interfering with everything that was important to her.

What was even more interesting is how he didn’t seem to be affected by it at all. He was same old same old disinterested, unreadable Levi. His gaze never lingered too long, like hers did. And judging by his reaction to her voice, he certainly didn’t go weak at the knees when she spoke. She felt stupid and yet she had not yet found a way to rid herself of these unnecessary emotions.

Finally the day of departure. She sat in her room, thinking of how Erwin and Levi were probably preparing the horses so they could leave. It was still dark outside, but the sun was going to rise within the next hour or so. She had spent the entire night thinking about him. Like a fool. The more she tried to forget it, the more he flooded her mind. Every trivial moment they had ever shared was suddenly laden with meaning and emotion. She could lie to everybody else, even to him if she really had to, but she couldn’t lie to herself.

Maybe she could still see them off. It would be awkward to show up there, since she had no excuse for being up so early, but she’d come up with something. Getting out of bed she jumped into her clothes, stormed out of her room and building and to the stables. But when she arrived, they had already left. And with his departure, she suddenly began to feel a distance. A distance which she had never registered before.

She arrived at village close to Wall Rose as the darkness began to envelope everything. Luckily there was a small inn where she found refuge. Soaking herself in a wooden tub filled with hot water, she began to think. Why had she spent the entire day on a horse riding towards Stohess? Well, a day after Levi left she had found a stack of important documents that they had left behind. This was a moment for her to show some initiative. So she prepared a horse, packed some food and a change of clothes and set out to deliver the documents. This had nothing to do with her or Levi. This was purely for the Scouting Legion.

Lying in bed and tried to convince herself of that anyway. Sure, she was going to deliver the documents, but really her mind was crowded with thoughts of him. And it was getting worse. When she closed her eyes, his face was in front of hers, his hands where everywhere and hers too. She could not stop herself. She remembered all the tender, probably vine-inspired, words that had escaped his mouth that night, words she would not have guessed existed in his vocabulary. And yet it was all locked away in that moment. A moment she had vowed to forget. A moment that, technically speaking, never really happened. And what bothered her even more was that he didn’t seem to care at all. Here she was trying to bridge this distance between them and for what? It was all for nothing really. At least she would be able to give him the documents.

The next day went by fast. She rode through Trost and stopped at the Scouting Legion headquarters to change her horse. It would still be a journey of two days. Two days filled with thoughts of him. These were the moments she wished she could turn down the volume and intensity of her thoughts.

It was early afternoon on the third day when she finally arrived at Wall Sina. Getting into Stohess was always a hassle, especially when you didn’t have a permit. She didn’t have one. This was an emergency after all.

"Permit please," the Military Police office said. Panicking slightly, she smiled at her.

"I don’t have one, but I really need to get in. I have some paperwork to deliver. For the Scouting Legion," Zoe explained.

"Well, if you don’t have a permit, can’t let you pass."

"But it’s an emergency."

"Orders from higher up. Nothing I can do. No permit, no entry. Should have issued one before you came here."

"How did you expect me to get one if it was an emergency? I just spent three two and a half days riding here all the way from Shiganshina. I had to leave as soon as possible. I didn’t have any time!" Her voice was getting louder and louder.

"No need to raise your voice."

"Please…, I mean, what do you think I’ll do? Settle within Wall Sina illegally?"

The officer looked at her blankly. “Yeah, people actually do that you know. That’s why I’m here. This is my job.”

"I don’t know about you, but fighting titans won’t be easy from inside here," she said provoking the officer.

"What is your name? We will be contacting the Scouting Legion to verify your identity and purpose here."

"Zoe Hange."

"Fine, move it. Next one!"

By the time she arrived at the office responsible for Scouting Legion stuff, it was almost two in the afternoon. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was already beating to her throat. There was no need for her to be nervous. She was just delivering a stack of papers. The receptionist guided her to the room where the meeting had already began, knocked and called Levi out.

If he was surprised to see her, he was hiding it quite well.

"I’m guessing you’ve come to tell us something that couldn’t wait till we were back. I don’t know what that could be, but go ahead," he said.

She wanted to say that _she_ needed to tell him something and how _she_ couldn’t wait until he was back. But instead she said, “Yes. It’s documents actually. You guys left these when you started off. I went through them and realized they were pretty important.” She handed them to him.

"So you lost no time and came riding all the way to Stohess," he said looking through the papers.

"Yes," she said. She was acting strange and she knew it. And she knew that he had noticed, too.

"For a stack of paper?"

"Yes. For a stack of paper. I mean, they’re important. We need to secure our funding after all."

"Fine, just saying. When I saw you standing here I thought you were going to say something else. That’s all," he said with his eyes still fixed on the papers in his hands. Was he actually reading through them or just avoiding her?

"Something else? Really?" The distance between them was still to big for her, so she inched closer.

"Hanji, what are you doing?" he said looking up from the documents for the first time.

"Nothing. It’s just…"

"Yes…?"

She couldn’t help herself. She put her arms around him. In public, in the office building that decided about the funding of the Scouting Legion. The papers scrunched up between them. He smelled good, familiar, like something she wanted more of. As much as she could get. “I kind of missed you.”

"Kind of?"

"Yes, kind of."

"I thought you said that it never happened, that you were never there and that it meant nothing," he whispered into her ear. He didn’t hug her back. He couldn’t because he was still holding the documents.

"Stop."

"But I’m just quoting what you said. These words came out of your mouth, not mine."

"I know, I know, I take them back."

"If we stay like this any longer, someone will see us. Meet me behind that large inn just three street away from here. At seven o’clock."

"Okay," she said letting go of him. Even though their eyes met, she could not tell what he was thinking or how he was feeling.


End file.
